Here’s a story from Saturday night that I feel moved to share:
Heather and I went to see “Wimbledon” on Saturday night. It’s a romantic comedy starring Kirsten Dunst and some British guy who’s name I can’t remember. By the way – I highly recommend the movie.
Anyways, Heather was sick this week. We asked for a large popcorn and she was adamant that we ask for an extra bag to split the popcorn so that her germs would get nowhere near me. How nice, I thought. So, the conversation with the ditzy vendor (think California Valley Girl) went as follows:
“Hi. We’d like a large popcorn, but could we have an extra bag so we can split it between the two of us because I’m sick.”
“I can’t give you an extra bag, but I can give you the large popcorn combo – you get a chocolate bar and a large drink.”
Okay – now, we asked for a bag, not for the combo.
(After some discussion) “Okay, we’ll take the combo, but can’t we have an extra bag.”
“No. We don’t give them out. You’ll have to take the bags from the candy bin.”
Now, those bags are the size of my hand.
“Are you really sure we can’t get an extra bag?”
“I’ll ask someone.” She asks someone. “No, I can’t. We have to count the bags at the end of the evening. I can give you a box.”
Do you seriously think they count the bags at the end of the night? IT’S A FREAKING BAG! Seriously people. There’ve got to be other things in the world to worry about than 1 missing bag. Needless to say I took the box and ate my popcorn out of it – and it wasn’t one of those cool kids boxes they put popcorn in. It was a box they use to pile people’s multiple bags of popcorn in. It was a funny site. But the vendor gal won; she got us to get a combo instead of just popcorn. Sneaky Valley girl.
While getting the mail the other day, I came across a pamphlet entitled “Prepare now for an earthquake in British Columbia.” Now, I’ve been desperately trying to forget that this possibility exists on the West Coast, but I picked the pamphlet up and decided to read it. On the first page, it says, “When an earthquake occurs, your first warning may be a swaying sensation, a sudden noise or roar. Next, vibration, quickly followed by roling – up, down, sideways, rotating. It will be scary!” No, really? Scary? I’d think it’d be a great roller coaster ride, even though I hate roller coasters. But the next sentence comforted me: “The earth won’t open up and swallow you.” This is GREAT news! But I was again thrown back into worry by the next sentence: “You can’t prevent an earthquake.” Now, this was earth-shattering for me. I can’t prevent an earthquake. I can’t use my superhuman strength to burrow down below the earth’s crust to the San Andreas fault and just hold those plates together. That has just shocked me to my core (I hope the sarcasm is coming out). Other than those statements, the pamphlet made a lot of sense. Hopefully I am now semi-prepared for an earthquake. But I really hope I never experience one, or I may just head back over those mountains to the east and stay on the flat Prairie, where the only earth movement is during spring seeding. Works for me.