A disabled Mike Clemons and a 6:00 am wake up call

(Once again this is the 2nd version of this entry. Silly computer…)

So I went out to Molly and Heidi’s last night, where they proceeded to tell me about their little Grey Cup party they had last weekend while I was in North Vancouver. None of them knows a whole lot about football, and this will become more apparent in a few seconds. They made fun of Mike Clemons all game because they thought he looked like a Smurf in his blue Argos sweatshirt and Crest Whitestrip smile. I’d have to agree. He has now been ordained – “Smurf Coach”. Now I like Mike Clemons. He’s a good guy, but I really don’t buy him as a great coach. Or a coach at all. Molly’s next observation confirmed my suspicions: she thought he was a Make A Wish Foundation person who’s wish was being granted. She actually thought this and shared that thought with everyone. She held this view until the end of the game when Gatorade was being poured all over him and they interviewed him and under his name it said, “Head Coach”. Pretty funny stuff. Molly also commented that she thought the player’s butts where “tighter than usual”. And that’s a direct quote. Now I’ve never compared one CFL player’s Spandex-clad butt to another, but maybe the CFL should be keeping statistics and measurements on those things. It might garner more female fans for the league…

And now a story from Heidi. Heidi works at a K-12 school in Aldergrove. Now, this is an Adventist school, so they have chapel everyday. Well this week one of the American teachers was in charge of chapel, and therefore, everyday was focused on American Thanksgiving, or what this teacher deemed, “The REAL Thanksgiving”. She’s in a Canadian school, and she’s going on about American Thanksgiving being the real Thanksgiving. Okay. But then came the even more hilarious part. These teachers complained the whole week about not getting American Thanksgiving off. Who are these people?! You’re living in CANADA. C-A-N-A-D-A. You know, that land above your country? Where Thanksgiving is in October and the holiday isn’t overshadowed by the huge shopping blowout that happens the next day. Speaking of which…

As I was eating my Cheerios and strawberries yesterday, I turned on the TV, only to be greeted by a 7-foot-story Super Grover flying through NYC down 5th Avenue. The Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade. I’ve never watched any of the commercial spectacle, but I had some time, so I decided to tune in. And during one of the commercial breaks there was an ad for Bon-Macy’s (which sounds so much sillier than The Bon Marché), where they gave a telephone number for people to call. Why? So that they can get PERSONAL WAKE UP CALLS and be at the store in time for its 6:00 am opening. And to potentially avoid the shopping rush. Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. But not as ridiculous as the song and dance number done by the Broadway cast of the what-looks-to-be-truly-dreadful new show, based on Elvis Presley’s music, called…wait for it…”All Shook Up.” Original, huh? Oh, it was bad. And then there was another number from the Broadway show, “Bombay Dreams”, sung by Tamyra Gray, and that was even more awful. Does she LOOK like an Indian princess to you? She sure doesn’t to me. And they were followed by Brooke Shields in a number from Wonderful Town (they should have picked a different scene to do), and then by country and pop newbies trying to pick up new fans. Commercialism abounded. And that’s the “real” Thanksgiving, huh?

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