Year in Review

Not a great title, but I’m worn out from 2004. That’s the best I can do. And I’m disgusted by the new version of “Think of Me” from the new “Phantom of the Opera”. Emily Rossum’s been singing at the Met since she was 7? Give me a break.

Anyways…

The best way for me to describe 2004 is: a wild, wild roller coaster ride. There were extreme highs and extreme lows with everything in between. Things for me have changed drastically over the course of the year. I’ve moved into a new universe. I finished university. I realized my degree is slightly useless. I’ve been forced to start over again. And I found out how hard the music world is and is going to be.

My last months of university were by far the highlight of the year for me. I made new friends I didn’t think I would have made and cemented other life-long friendships. I didn’t want to leave. I had carved out my comfortable niche at the UR, finally found my spot in the totem pole and wanted to perch there for a little while longer. I later figured out that I just didn’t want people to forget me. Weird. Leaving university was very, very hard. Going to opera boot camp was even harder. And leaving SK for BC was the hardest.

I’ll admit that the transition to the next phase of my life has been relatively smooth – and for that I am so thankful. I’ll admit that I was frustrated with losing some friendships and that new ones were slow to form. I constantly questioned what I was doing in Vancouver, where I was going with this career path of mine and whether it was the right one, but along with those moments were highs were I was completely sure of what I wanted. And once again I’m now not so sure. A part of me wants the stability of a 9-5 job, but the other side of me needs the creativity and high of singing. Needs? I guess I just answered my own question…

I learned a lot this year. I learned who my real friends are, and in that there has been some disappointment. People I thought I would have remained close to have faded into the distance. Part of this has been the breaking away part from university. Ouch.

I’ve learned a lot about myself as well. I’ve realized that my self-confidence isn’t as high as I thought, and that was a bit of a blow. But I’ve found that my ability to adapt to situations and deal with new things and wrenches thrown into plans is much stronger than I thought. I also realized that my whole move to Vancouver was extremely risky. I had no idea what the school was about, didn’t know the city, didn’t know my teacher, didn’t know if my teacher would be good for me. And it has all turned out incredibly well. I can definitely feel the guidance of Someone…

Sports wise, the year was also a roller coaster ride. The Leafs. Moments of brillance followed by moments of sheer horror. Going 4-0 in my playoff bets – including winning my hockey pool (of which I am still incredibly proud) – was a huge accomplishment. The current NHL lockout has been a test for me – and I’m failing miserably. BRING BACK HOCKEY!! The Riders’ season was also full of a lot of hills and curves in the road. One play away from the Grey Cup they were. I’m predicting a Grey Cup win next season. In Vancouver. At BC Place. With me watching. 🙂

Christmas at home was wonderful. And much too short. I really didn’t want to come back. But then I stepped outside of the airport and found that it was 5 degrees outside. 5 degrees above zero. Compared to the -33 degrees (-50 with the windchill!) it was when I left Saskatchewan, coupled with the green grass outside of the airport, it was okay to be back on the West Coast. And apparently this is the place I should be back in. My Dad kept harassing me over the holidays that I had picked up this “West Coast attitude” of arrogance and impatience. Maybe I have. I don’t know.

But it’s time for the New Year, and I’ve got my list of resolutions as usual. I spent New Year’s Eve at home, me, Dad and my puppy, Sadie. Dad and Sadie were sleeping by 11:30, and I had to will myself to stay awake until midnight. It didn’t help that I was sick. But I never really go out and celebrate New Year’s anyway, so it wasn’t a big deal.

So, it’s back to the grind. I’ve got performances on January 21st and 23rd and lots of work to do before then. And I’ve got to get cracking on my recital repertoire – April 21st at 7:30 pm if you’re in the area. And hopefully I’ll get a job – I’ve got to get one soon, or I will go crazy. A lack of income is frustrating…

Anyways – Happy New Year to you all, and I wish you all the best in 2005!

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1 comment
  1. Anonymous said:

    Even if I’m not a good emailer or anything, please don’t think I’ve forgotten you. I’ll never forget you, Nicola, or our adventures together. I think of you often and wish for only wonderful things, so although my keeping in touch is definitely not on par, I love you and am always here.

    Happy 2005!

    -Tara

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