Tomorrow is Chinese New Year, and since it’s the year of the dog, my year, I thought I’d post what people born in the year of the dog are supposed to be like. Let me know if you think this is me or not! I’ve added my own observations to the text as well (in brackets and caps).
“In the West, the Dog is man’s best friend, but in Chinese Astrology this Sign is a little more unpredictable than that. Dogs are loyal, faithful and honest and always stick to their firm codes of ethics. However, this Sign has trouble trusting others. It’s generally quite trustworthy itself — except for the occasional “little white lies” the Dog tells in order to make things go more smoothly (I DO THIS ALL OF THE TIME. SERIOUSLY. ANYTHING TO RESIST CONFLICT. I ALWAYS ACT AS IF I LIKE CONFLICT, BUT THAT’S ONLY IN THEORY. IN REALITY, IT MAKES ME NERVOUS). The Dog makes a wonderful, discreet (WHY CAN’T WE BE FRIENDS IN THE OPEN?) and loyal friend (despite any white lies) and is an excellent listener (I’M A TERRIBLE LISTENER). This Sign tends to root for the underdog (SEE TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS, SASKATCHEWAN ROUGHRIDERS AND THE NDP) and its keen sense of right and wrong makes it duty-bound to the core. The Dog’s mantra seems to be, Live right, look out for the little people and fight injustice whenever possible (THIS IS TRUE – TO A POINT).
Dogs can also be rather dogmatic, too. They don’t go in for light social banter; instead, they go straight for home, expostulating on the topics that are most important to them (THIS IS TRUE. I CAN’T SIT AROUND JUST TALKING ABOUT TRIVIAL THINGS LIKE, HOW WAS YOUR DAY? POLITICAL DISCUSSION ARE BEST). At these times the Dog’s narrow-minded (I THINK I’M QUITE OPENMINDED, OR MAYBE NOT…) or stubborn (DUH!) side can become apparent; this Sign has trouble staying light and calm when an important issue is at stake (I HAVE TROUBLE STAYING LIGHT AND CALM EVERDAY. AND WHEN THERE’S A PROBLEM, THIS ESCALATES). This Sign can also be very temperamental; mood swings characterize its emotional life (OOH YEAH!) and often the Dog needs to run off to be alone in order to recuperate (HENCE WHY I’M HOME ALONE ON A SATURDAY NIGHT). Part of the problem is the result of this Sign’s load of irrational fears (BEING ON THE SKYTRAIN DURING AN EARTHQUAKE) that turn into niggling anxieties (I HAVE TO TURN MY TV OFF ON AN EVEN CHANNEL AND AN EVEN VOLUME LEVEL) that turn into hurt feelings and occasional grouchiness. This sensitive Sign needs to warm up to others over time and gradually learn to trust them (THIS IS TRUE. THERE ARE VERY, VERY FEW PEOPLE WHOM I TELL EVERYTHING!). Without that trust as a foundation, Dogs can be judgmental and coarse (SOME PEOPLE SAY I SEEM SNOBBISH WHEN I FIRST MEET THEM – IT’S JUST ‘CAUSE I’M SHY AND DON’T TRUST EASILY!).
The Dog’s discerning nature does make it an excellent business person (DON’T KNOW – HAVEN’T TRIED!), one who can turn that picky (UH HUH), guarded nature (DOUBLE UH HUH) into a keen sense of the truth of another’s motives. Where love is concerned, Dogs often have a tough time finding the right match (OR ANY MATCH…OR ANYBODY IN GENERAL…). They can be so anxious and overwrought in the romance dance that they’ll stress their partner to the max! In any forum, this Sign is happiest when able to be quite physically active (I DISAGREE. I LIKE LAYING IN MY BED, READING A BOOK); at home or at work, the Dog will always be constructing something new or cleaning something up in order to make things better (YEAH. MY LIFE IS SELF-IMPROVEMENT). Dogs need to work on controlling their irrational worries (I WISH…) and would also be well-served to relax their mile-high standards, which can sometimes wind up alienating the ones they love (I KNOW…).
And one more thing. Would everybody just leave James Frey alone? Yeah, he lied. Yeah, he made a lot of money lying. But the man is a former drug addict. He is more than a few brain cells short. Why anyone didn’t check the facts of his book is mind-blowing. So, nobody did their homework, leave it alone. And hello Doubleday: controversy sells. You thought being on Oprah’s Book Club would make you a fortune? How about all of the exposure now? I want to read the book now. I really didn’t care before. And on that note, goodnight. I’ve got an early day tomorrow.