Monthly Archives: April 2006

It’s been 3 weeks since I wrote on this here blog. Three weeks. That’s an eternity on Nicola’s Stage. You know what, I just haven’t felt like it. Haven’t been in the mood. Haven’t had the energy. A lot has been going on. The last couple of months have basically been a crash course in “What Nicole needs to fix in her life”, and it’s been a bit on the heavy side at times. More than I thought I could handle. But I’m still here, things seem a little bit brighter at this moment in time, and it’s actually warm and sunny outside. I got a sunburn yesterday.

So, what should I comment on first? Well, let’s start with what Nicole is going to do next year. I’m going to SFU. Sfoo is what I call it. Once they get my transcripts from the Academy, I’m going to be a Political Science/History student. I am very excited. Frightened that I’ll suck as a Political Science/History student, but excited nonetheless. I’ve been slowly breaking the news to everybody that I’m leaving music and never coming back. Well, I shouldn’t say never, but let’s just say that I need to learn to live my life off of the stage instead of on it. My sister told me that it needs to sink in for her a little bit. Let it sink in all you want. It’s my life. My money. My happiness.

I’ve realized that I never wanted to be in music. Unfortunately (some of you will think I’m crazy and not totally understand, and that’s okay) I had a 4 year scholarship for university and had to pick something. Music just kind of happened. I never really thought about it, never had a plan, and always enjoyed my electives way more than my actual music classes. By 3rd year I knew it was all a sham, but I continued, trooper that I am. And coming out here – well, let’s just say I was killing time. Putting off the inevitable decision to leave music. I’ve hinted at it, but then the thought of “How can you not use your talent?” came along and I felt guilty. I wasn’t strong enough at the time to say, “I can’t stand doing this everyday” (and who would have believed me – I’d done it so much), so I came out here, thinking I’d somehow still like it and make it through the next 2 years and by then I’d magically know what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. And those few blissful moments on stage got me through – until now. The thought of my recital makes me want to…well, let’s just say I’d like to throw things.

It’s a funny thing, this game of life. We’re born into a world that really doesn’t give us directions. We turn 18 and are turned loose on it, with no real sense of purpose guiding us. Yes, I’m having an existential crisis. I need to watch I Heart Huckabees again, I guess. And speaking of movies, go see “Thank You for Not Smoking”. Good stuff…

I have ignored my heart and my gut instincts for the past 6 years. I’ve known it all along, but have been afraid to say it. I’ve always been the girl with the plan, the girl who supposedly knew what she wanted. You know the old adage that the people who seem to have it all together are usually the ones that have no clue on the inside? That’s me. I’ve been pretending to be this “other” person and it’s finally caught up to me. Is SFU the answer? No. But is it a step in the direction? Oh yes. We all know I’d rather talk about why Stephen Harper is going to win a majority in the next election (sorry to break it to you…) than spend one second in a practice room.

So that’s where I am. In No Man’s Land. I’ve left the Island of Music, and have started out in the Ship of Life, looking for the next island. And I’m trying to be more real. More me. I’m not exactly sure who that is. But I know she doesn’t sing opera for a living…


My life is a series of countdowns. Right now I am counting down to Easter, as the thought of actually having 4 consecutive days in a row to myself is better than the thought of Christmas right now. I am also counting down to my recital. That damn recital. Kirstin is coming, which is fantastic as she can calm me down, seeing she’s been through it herself before. And that makes me want to practice a little more. But only a little bit. I am losing the motivation battle with this recital. And I don’t care. I cannot WAIT to be finished. Ugh. Anyways, on to more important things, such as what I did this past weekend.

I spent Saturday morning in church, half asleep. I can’t stay awake during sermons, especially when this week’s was a summary of the last couple of weeks’. Not exactly inspiring. The afternoon was spent lazing about, reading, sleeping – all of those wonderful things. And then Heather woke me up at around 6:00, and asked me if I wanted to go out to Aldergrove to see a talent show at Heidi’s school. I said sure, still a little groggy from my nap. I forgot how much I don’t really like talent shows. But this one had a few memorable highlights.

You have to remember that this is an ADVENTIST high school. So, anything profane or sexually suggestive is not allowed. Hence the word “damn” was removed from Kelly Clarkson’s “Because of You”. Unfortunately the guy (and yes, guy) who sang “I Drove All Night” forgot to change the words. He sang “to make love to you…”, and the minute he sang it, Heather and I looked at each other, knowing it would mean trouble. Poor guy.

There were a few times I had to walk out of the room. Now that I teach, I really can’t listen to anything with an appreciative ear. I actually get pains in my throat listening to bad singing. I know it’s weird, but it’s true. The best laughs were reserved for 3 Korean kids that did an opera parody of “O Sole Mio”. My operatic heart was a little bruised afterwards (kudos to them for choosing a really good recording. I’m pretty sure it was the Pavarotti/Carrears version…), but I survived, because next was “The Last Saskatchewan Pirate”. I didn’t think that anyone outside of SK knew that song. That honestly made the show for me. There was also a piano/electric guitar ensemble that played Chopin’s “Prelude in E Minor” that was very inventive. I thought they should have won.

A bunch of us went out to Boston Pizza afterwards to chat. That was my favorite part of the evening. It had been quite awhile since I’d seen Heidi and had a chance to chat. Of course the subject of hockey came up, and my traitorous actions at Monday night’s game. Heather reamed me out for it – in front of everybody. But I didn’t take it seriously as Heather could care less about sports. I was more shocked that she was as passionate about it as she was. And I even rounded some people up for a playoff hockey pool. I know I’m not going to be invited back into the last one I was in.

The best part of this weekend, though, was the re-discovery of The Philosopher Kings. After “The Last Saskatchewan Pirate” resurfaced, I asked to borrow a friend’s CD which had a bunch of Arrogant Worms songs on it. He said it had other stuff on it too. Little did I know that I would be introduced to the song, “If I Ever Lose This Heaven”. What a fantastic song. Not fantastic lyric-wise, but it has a fantastic vibe. I forgot how unique they were. I went right to their website, and discovered that they’ve got a new CD out. I heard some of the clips, and really liked what I heard. So, I’m a fan again. I have to stop listening to the song, otherwise I’m going to be sick of it by tomorrow, but oh well. The first song on the CD is great too, but I have no idea what it is.

All right. I’ve taken a 3 hour break. Time to become more productive again. Is that even possible with me? The countdown to the weekend begins. Only 5 days…

In Grade 12 Sarah Richert gave me the title of BQ – and it has nothing to do with the Bloc Quebecois – though I did write a paper on The Quiet Revolution of the 60s for Grade 12 history class. BQ stands for Bitter Queen. If you don’t believe me, then you obviously don’t know me that well. I am bitter about many things. Namely sports events. I live off of bitterness. It fuels me.

This leads me to Henry Burris. Yes, he’s haunting my thoughts again. My question to Smilin’ Hank is this: So, Henry, now that the Stamps have signed Danny McManus (and I think he has 2 Grey Cups – and I know – he didn’t start either of them), are you going to run? Are you going to cry foul? Are you going to question the security of your number one starting QB position? You ran away from Saskatchewan because of freaking NEALON GREENE. Are you scared of Danny Mac? You shouldn’t be. But, with you – one just never knows…

Speaking of the Riders…

We are screwed for this season. Unless Marcus Crandell or Nealon Greene become possessed by the spirit of Warren Moon, the season isn’t looking that bright. They say that Roy Shivers can find talent anywhere. Well, after this many seasons, where the hell’s our star quarterback? You can’t tell me that a guy who spent 8 years with the Stampeders and is known across the CONTINENT for his ability to scout talent can’t find one more freaking quarterback. Either Roy is losing his touch, or there is something happening in Riderville that is making people stay away. And don’t say it’s because it’s Regina. And don’t say it’s because there’s too much pressure from the fan base. Come on. We aren’t the Maple Leafs, people.

I definitely think part of it is the fact that Roy and Danny only have one more year left on their contracts. This season is “do or die” for them. But you have to remember that we’re talking about the Riders. How long was Al Ford GM for? 10 freaking years. Yes, he won a Grey Cup in his first year, but 1997 doesn’t count. I’m sure that God gave us the 1997 season to give us a glimmer of hope to get us through the drought-infested, Mad Cow years that were to follow. You’ve got to wonder. But getting back to my point…

Danny and Roy have put a good team together. The best team we’ve had in a long time (anybody remember the Marvin Graves year?). If they hadn’t been sucker-punched by “Traitor” Burris, we might have had our Grey Cup. Things do need to change this year, though. Once the season gets a little closer, I’ll make my wishlist for the Riders this year.

Now back to the current situation – that’s right. The Leafs.

I can’t believe the organization gave Pat Quinn, John Ferguson and Richard Peddie the green light. What the %$&@? This just reinforces how screwed up the Leafs really are. Besides the little “coming out” party for Bryan McCabe that died off as soon as the word “Olympics” was mentioned to him, this season has been dismal. How many times have we lost to Ottawa by more than 6 goals (Answer: 3. Hmm. Not as many times as I thought…)?

It astounds me how such a large, rich organization such as the Leafs cannot develop talent. They’re a patchwork team made up of an aging goalie with a bad back, a captain who only plays his “A” game when he has on a yellow sweater with three blue crowns (read: a Swedish national team jersey), a couple of young pups who bring excitement but not consistency, a blue line that even I could skate by with no problem, and a bunch of old veterans who’s career-ending wish is to play with their childhood dream team. The Leafs have to stop fulfilling every aging NHLers fantasy to play for the Leafs. Secondly, they need to stop trading away their draft picks. We probably don’t have a first round draft pick until 2010. Thirdly, they need to invest in some blueliners. That would fix half of the problem. Fort he past decade they have depended on their goalie to win the Stanley Cup for them. It just doesn’t work that way anymore. Especially in the new NHL. Your defence has to be fast and your forwards faster. And the Leafs are stuck in the early 90s. The days of Doug Gilmour and Wendell Clark are over, people!

I’d clean house. Start over. Pat Quinn needs to go. And I think he wants to. Ferguson is useless. Get rid of the aging guys and bring in the youngsters. And get Brent Sutter to coach. Hmm – I like it already…

So whom will I cheer for come playoff time? Calgary and Edmonton. But not the Canucks. Hell, no. We all know how I feel ab0ut them…

And here’s some trivia for you to end the night. Who has more goals? Steve Yzerman or Mario Lemieux? Trick question? Yes. The answer is Stevie Y. He passed Lemieux’s mark of 690 by scoring his 13th goal of the season against Chicago in a losing cause.

Good night!


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