I’m sure I’m annoying my Dad with my typing right now. It’s 11:00, everyone’s asleep, and I picked now to sit down and write. It was either that or wait another week. I figured I should do this now.
I’m here. I’ve only been here for over a week, so I’m not sure what to think yet. So much has happened in the past couple of months, so much has changed and more changes are coming. I think I’m in a bit of a daze as to all that’s going on around me right now.
A few nights ago I found myself staring out my bedroom window at dusk, looking toward the east horizon, the view obscured only by a little house surrounded by a few trees along the horizon line, and I remembered. I thought back to the week before I left for Vancouver, where staring out that same window, at the same time of day, at the same horizon, I thought about the future and what it would bring. Who I’d become. What would happen. Who I’d meet. Whether it was the right move. And I remember feeling this sense of certainty that I wasn’t going to stay there. At that point it hadn’t sunk in that I’d be staying there for a matter of years, much the same as it hasn’t sunk in that I’m staying here. But I knew I’d be back.
Some things are the same. My sister and I still fight. My Grandpa still has a box of Pot of Gold chocolates hidden by his chair. He also continues to constantly crack sarcastic comments about the Saskatchewan Party (I get that from him…). My puppy wakes me up every morning. The doors on the grey car still don’t lock. The Riders rule talk radio. Dad still loves his Quik, and Mom still does crossword puzzles outside on the deck.
But some things are different. My cousins have grown into young girls. Mom is going back to school. Kirstin lives in Minot, and Allie lives in Edmonton. Jill is getting married. Sherry has a baby. Jeff and Michelle have their own place and own lives. Jennifer talks more. The backyard has finally grown into the oasis my Mom wanted. And after 26 years of denial, my Dad finally admitted that he ate the chocolate chips my Mom bought for baking.
People change. Landscapes change. Hearts change. Solar systems changed. I’ve changed.
I don’t miss Vancouver. But I don’t regret it. Without it, I wouldn’t have changed. And the change is for the better. I’m the same, but different…