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Monthly Archives: September 2006

My history professor always ends his lectures with “concluding thoughts”. These aren’t concluding thoughts, but random thoughts.

Escalators are one of the worst inventions. Everybody stands. Nobody moves. In Vancouver, people who want to stand and enjoy the ride stay to the right, so that those of us who want to MOVE can walk down the left side. But that’s a general complaint of mine. Walk on the right side of the hallway, go in the right side of the doorway, etc. It would stop a lot of collisions and frustration by people like me who can’t sleep at night because they’re thinking about how people can’t walk on the right side of the road. Moving on…

I won myself some Dixie Chicks tickets on Friday morning. NewsTalk 650 played clips of 5 Dixie Chicks songs. I e-mailed the names of the songs in the correct order, was the first one to get my entry in, and I won! They said my name on the radio, and then I phoned my Mom to tell her the great news. Then I phoned my sister and woke her up. I’m taking her in hopes that it’ll be a peace offering between the two of us…

My cousin Celeste, who’s in Grade 3, spent most of Saturday with me as her Mom and Dad and sisters were at a Pathfinder Camporee. It’s an Adventist thing. Anyways, Celeste wanted to find some kittens. I knew we had some in our barn, but they’re not tame. So, we headed to the barn, armed with a bowl of milk. Knowing the chances were slim to none that we’d catch one of them, I tried to get Celeste to realize that there was no point. But she’s one determined little girl. Unfortunately her idea of trying to catch the kittens was to sneak up to them, get within 5 feet, then run at them to try and catch them. I watched this occur I don’t know how many times. Of course the kittens were frightened at the sound of something 3 feet bigger than them coming full speed towards them.

My new favorite TV shows are “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip”, “Justice”, and possibly “Brothers and Sisters”. I keep watching “Vanished” and “Jericho” because I’m curious. “Standoff” is kind of fun, too. “House” and “Grey’s Anatomy” are my main standbys. It’s so sad. I watch too much TV.

Not a whole lot else is new. Well, I went to the Rider game on Sunday. Who would have thought it’d have that ending? Other than that, I’m trying to think of what I should do for my birthday next week since I’m in the same province as most people I know. If you have any ideas, let me know…

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That’s the word I was looking for all morning. Finally found it.

It was yesterday morning, around 11:30, when I first logged on to CBC.ca and found that a shooting at a Montreal college had occured. And I really didn’t care. Hours later, only after having watched the news and seen the pictures of hundreds of traumatized students, some inconsolable, did the reality of the incident hit me.

Desensitized.

While thinking about my response to the first news of the shooting, I realized that it no longer fazes me to see that somebody has walked into a public area and opened fire on innocent people. It happens. Frequently. Nor does it surprise me when another bomb goes off in Iraq, or any other place around the world.

While death is an evitable part of our existence, the violent ends to the lives of so many people should be troubling and worrisome. But it isn’t anymore. It’s an accepted part of our lives in some ways. We know it could happen to us.

And while for a few minutes today I was alarmed when the door to our classroom opened, only to have it be students behind schedule, after a few minutes the anxiety waned, and things continued as normal. And so it will be with this latest incident, too. After all of the cries for stricter gun control and the advocation of the monitoring of personal blogs die down, we’ll go back to our normal lives, until the next time this happens.

Desensitized? Indeed.

The first week of classes is over, and I feel ancient.

Because I’m “starting over” again, I have to take a bunch of 100-level classes. So, I’m packed into auditoriums with 17 and 18 year olds getting their first taste of freedom. I remember what it felt like.

Terrifying.

As much as I pretend to to like power, I’m afraid of it. Afraid it might take me out of my comfort zone. Afraid of all the choice it leaves. But that’s a discussion for another day.

It is interesting going back to university now. For one thing, I look a lot different. When I first went to university, I looked like a heavy-set boy. It’s true. And now I actually look like a girl. A lot lighter girl.

I saw someone I went to high school with while walking through the Arts Tunnel. It took me by surprise, though I’d been on the lookout for such people all week. I thought of going over and saying “Hi”, but I chickened out. I went to class and then realized that I did want to chat with this person and decided to go back afterwards and see if she was there. But she wasn’t there. An opportunity lost.

The nice thing about going back is that you know the game. You know how to play. How to win. The schoolwork doesn’t faze me one bit.

The not-so-nice thing is that I really don’t know anybody outside of my family. So I have to build friendships once again. Start over. And like usual, my impatience at the pace of this has caused me some grief over the past week. But it’s time for me to get over myself, shutup and suck it up.

There. That’s better.

On the whole, I’m happy. I have my own space, my schedule allows me to nap every afternoon if I choose, I have a vehicle once again, family all around and lots and lots of textbooks. I may read them, I may not, but having them is comfort. It means that I’m going to school and exercising my brain once again.

My classes are going to be good. Only one of my professors has a big ego, but he’ll be the one I’ll learn the most from. The others are very approachable, including one very good-looking history professors for whom I will gladly go to class at 8:30 every Tuesday and Thursday. Hey – a little incentive never hurts.

The only thing I’m really missing is Internet. My landlord hasn’t hooked mine up yet, and I’m suffering. Having to be at my brother and sister’s everyday to check my e-mail is frustrating and slightly embarassing. Hopefully this will be rectified soon.

Well, it’s back to my place to do some wedding music preparations for next week and then to bed. Ahhhh… I love routine…

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