The first week of classes is over, and I feel ancient.
Because I’m “starting over” again, I have to take a bunch of 100-level classes. So, I’m packed into auditoriums with 17 and 18 year olds getting their first taste of freedom. I remember what it felt like.
As much as I pretend to to like power, I’m afraid of it. Afraid it might take me out of my comfort zone. Afraid of all the choice it leaves. But that’s a discussion for another day.
It is interesting going back to university now. For one thing, I look a lot different. When I first went to university, I looked like a heavy-set boy. It’s true. And now I actually look like a girl. A lot lighter girl.
I saw someone I went to high school with while walking through the Arts Tunnel. It took me by surprise, though I’d been on the lookout for such people all week. I thought of going over and saying “Hi”, but I chickened out. I went to class and then realized that I did want to chat with this person and decided to go back afterwards and see if she was there. But she wasn’t there. An opportunity lost.
The nice thing about going back is that you know the game. You know how to play. How to win. The schoolwork doesn’t faze me one bit.
The not-so-nice thing is that I really don’t know anybody outside of my family. So I have to build friendships once again. Start over. And like usual, my impatience at the pace of this has caused me some grief over the past week. But it’s time for me to get over myself, shutup and suck it up.
There. That’s better.
On the whole, I’m happy. I have my own space, my schedule allows me to nap every afternoon if I choose, I have a vehicle once again, family all around and lots and lots of textbooks. I may read them, I may not, but having them is comfort. It means that I’m going to school and exercising my brain once again.
My classes are going to be good. Only one of my professors has a big ego, but he’ll be the one I’ll learn the most from. The others are very approachable, including one very good-looking history professors for whom I will gladly go to class at 8:30 every Tuesday and Thursday. Hey – a little incentive never hurts.
The only thing I’m really missing is Internet. My landlord hasn’t hooked mine up yet, and I’m suffering. Having to be at my brother and sister’s everyday to check my e-mail is frustrating and slightly embarassing. Hopefully this will be rectified soon.
Well, it’s back to my place to do some wedding music preparations for next week and then to bed. Ahhhh… I love routine…