Archive

Monthly Archives: July 2007

Okay, gang. Here goes. The following is a theory compiled by myself, with much help from Charmaine, who gave the theory a name. I would like to thank Charmaine for her continual support through this endeavour.

“Walls of Walmart Coolness” Theory

This theory espouses the idea that men and women who work together within the confines of Walmart are more attracted to each other inside of those walls than outside of them.

This behaviour increases in, and is directly correlated to the spring and summer months, when the flowers are blooming, the trees are budding, and the bees are buzzing – and the Garden Center is opening!

The sight of young men in shorts, baring their white skinny legs, makes the women of Walmart swoon. It is the first sight of flesh in months, and causes hearts to pitter-patter.

Because of the close proximity of Walmart co-workers to each other and the store’s principles of teamwork, workers are forced to spend countless hours together, zoning, stocking shelves and helping customers. It is completely understandable that these conditions create the perfect environment in which to begin a relationship, as co-workers chat with each other whilst completing their assigned tasks.

Men and women begin to tease each other. Females shamlessly flirt with the ‘no tank tops’ rule, wearing capped sleeves. Men wear shorts to seduce their female colleagues.

The problem occurs when a man and woman decide to explore their new relationship outside of Walmart. It is at this point that the relationship often begins to fizzle.

The cause of this ‘diminished coolness’ or, also known as a loss of attraction, is a lack of common ground beyond work. Outside of Walmart, a couple often has nothing to speak of, as their experiences have been shared during the workday. There are only so many times one can recount the joys of counting tills.

Therefore, maintaining a relationship outside of the Walmart sphere of influence requires a conscious effort on the part of both men and women to broaden their horizons and take up activities which do not have attachments to Walmart. This may be difficult, as Walmart is the world’s largest transnational corporation, but with determination and focus, it is possible! Take on new hobbies. Go new places. Go and do anything where you can avoid your colleagues as much as humanly possible.

But not all is bad! Do not let the ‘walls of Walmart’ confine your dating life. Feel free to reach out to both your colleagues and customers and consider them as possible dating options. Remember the 3 meter rule. You never know – your ‘smile and greet’ may attract your own customer satisfaction!

Advertisements

Okay, Rider fans. Let’s not get all upset about tonight’s shellacking at the hands of the Lions. No heads need to roll, alright? Really, the game wasn’t 42-12. It wasn’t like last week. I really hesitate to use Henry Burris’ own phrase, but what he said last week is true for the Riders: “They didn’t do jack to us, we did it to ourselves.”

Now I mocked Burris for this. Clearly the Riders kicked the Stamps’ asses last week. No questions asked. Tonight, though, the Riders beat themselves up. 31 of the Lions’ 42 points were a result of turnovers. Last week, most of the Riders’ points were the result of offensive drives – hence why Hank’s quote is more applicable in this situation than the former.

The Riders were dreadful in the first half, but woke up in the 2nd. The score really should have been 28-12. Those last 2 touchdowns in the final minute don’t really count.

But I’m happy the Riders lost. I was a little leery of the Ridermania that was sweeping the province. Yes, we won two games, but Grey Cup parade? Everybody take a deep breath and repeat after me: “15 games to go, 15 games to go…”

There are definitely some things the Riders need to work on. The lack of a running game is allowing opposing defences to make life very difficult for our receivers. We need to give the ball to Childs or Cates and utilize them, even if it’s as receivers. At least have them lineup like you’re going to hand it off.

The return game. Oy. Jason Armstead cannot return like he used to. When he was with the Renegades, you’d have to watch his every step, because he could easily burn you. This is not the case anymore. Now he’s dropping the ball, running BACKWARDS, and making bad decisions. Double duty is not working for him anymore.

The defence was stellar tonight. They banged up both Dickenson and Pierce. Bravo. And they kept the Riders in it for as long as they could. And kudos to Andy Fantuz. He’s struggling in his sophomore year, but he made up for a couple of early drops with some solid play in the second half.

Don’t worry, Rider Nation. Don’t lose any sleep over this one. Our boys were on a short week, against the best team in the league. Better to learn this lesson now than in the Western Final again…

I don’t imagine you can see the moonlight outside right now. It’s really rumbling outside. Apparently we’re in the midst of a severe thunderstorm, according to Environment Canada. We had a pretty good storm in the middle of the night sometime during the week, but I mostly slept through it. This one, though, I’m wide awake for.

I’m quite afraid of thunderstorms, though not of the thunder and lightning. It’s the wind and hail that scare me. When I was little, a hailstorm shattered our living room window; I don’t remember the incident, but I suspect that’s where my fear came from. I used to hide out in the basement during big storms, taking all my life possessions with me in case some tornado decided to take the roof off of my house. My parents finally banned me from watching the evening news because if I saw a chance of thunderstorms on the weather forecast, I wouldn’t sleep.

Anyway, I could blog about how useless I think “Live Earth” is, and how people do not have any respect for the words “we are now closed,” but I hear very little thunder, so I’m going to try going back to bed. Sweet dreams…

Slaw

My ramblings on life, politics, sports and other things.

CFL.ca

My ramblings on life, politics, sports and other things.

Mental Floss

My ramblings on life, politics, sports and other things.

The Hairpin

My ramblings on life, politics, sports and other things.

PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

My ramblings on life, politics, sports and other things.

Visual News

Content that educates, engages, and inspires.

stuff antonia says.

lipstick, sacraments, espresso, & grace. not necessarily in that order.

Rage Against the Minivan

My ramblings on life, politics, sports and other things.

The Weekly Sift

making sense of the news one week at a time

Peter Enns

My ramblings on life, politics, sports and other things.

Lainey Gossip Articles

My ramblings on life, politics, sports and other things.

TheCourt.ca

THE COURT is the online resource for debate & data about the Supreme Court of Canada

Crumbs from the Communion Table

My ramblings on life, politics, sports and other things.

David Akin’s On the Hill

My ramblings on life, politics, sports and other things.

Blog - Elizabeth Esther

My ramblings on life, politics, sports and other things.

Experimental Theology

My ramblings on life, politics, sports and other things.

gailvazoxlade.com

My ramblings on life, politics, sports and other things.

Love is an Orientation

My ramblings on life, politics, sports and other things.

The Atlantic

My ramblings on life, politics, sports and other things.