"Some Unholy War"

Since Kurt has decided that his Master’s thesis is SO much more important than the infinite wisdom which presents itself in The Wheel’s 4th episode of “American Foreign Policy” (insert trumpet fanfare here), I’ve decided to liveblog the class to show him what he’s missing…

11:30 am: The Wheel enters the room, and a hush falls over the amazed students. He’s looking dapper in a carbon-colored suit with a splash of red in the form of his shirt. He looks very scholarly this morning. He turns to the board to write the important concepts that will forever be ingrained in our heads. The usual characters are here: Carrot Top, State of Nature guy, Mr. Buffalo Bill and the 3 Amigos.

The Wheel informs us that he is ill! Zut alors! Laryngitis and a cold! What will I ever do? What if I cannot hear the wisdom the gods of knowledge implore me to hear through the Wheel?

11:35 am: We will have a guest on January 29th. Someone who knows more of American foreign policy than The Wheel? Is it possible? Bestill my feeble mind!

11:37 am: The lecture begins. Back to the Wilsonian syndrome.

11:45 am: State of Nature guy has to say something. Things were going so well. I don’t get what State of Nature guy is trying to ask. Gasp! The Wheel says he doesn’t understand what State of Nature guy is saying. Bravo! Encore!

11:55 am: The Wheel is veering into the Cold War. He’d better stay on course…

12:01 pm: The requisite Diet Coke has been opened. Some things are so predictable.

12:02 pm: The Wheel’s soothing voice is making me sleepy…

12:04 pm: The Wheel calls the US hypocritical! I can’t believe it!

12:05 pm: Comparisons of the Bush presidencies falls flat.

12:11 pm: I discover that Cake Mania 2 exists! Oh happy day!

12:14 pm: Carrot Top has to ask, “Which George Bush” is a unilateralist. Do you really have to ask?!?! Oooh, a new person has a question. His name will be Crew Cut Guy. I thought he’d be smarter, but he has to clarify what Carrot Top asked and The Wheel answered. Come on. Listen up!

12:32 pm: The Wheel is losing me. Nothing interesting in over 15 minutes…

12:44 pm: Here it is! The golden nugget of knowledge that I have waited for!
“It’s all about God, oil and glory.”

12:48 pm: That’s it for another episode. Join us next time when we continue with liberal internationalism and move to realism!

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