Everyone thinks they understand me completely. Everyone thinks they have me figured out. Everyone thinks that I’ve only had success after success in my life.
There are some areas of my life in which I am a spectacular failure. I’ll bet you didn’t know that. There are certain things that I’ve tried and tried and tried, and come close to achieving – only to fail over and over again.
I get tired of people looking at me and believing that there is nothing more that I could possibly want or need. I’m tired of people rolling their eyes at me when I try to put into words what I feel is missing. I’m tired of people telling me I have no reason to ever be upset, hurt or sad.
Despite what you all may think, I, too, am human. I cry. I get pissed off. I lose things. I fail. I feel. But I was taught that emotions are bad; they do not help. Therefore, I find it extremely difficult to let myself feel what it is I feel.
The irony is that I am an emotional person. And while you all may laugh when I get upset because you think it’s ‘cute,’ the fact is that what you see is only a fraction of the emotion that is bubbling inside of me.
What is the point of all this? I guess I’m trying to say that with me, what you see on the outside is usually not even close to what’s going on inside.