The last car I drove before you was a 1992 Chevy Cavalier. Before that, it was a 1991 Toyota 4Runner. And before that, a 1991 Ford Taurus.
It’s nice to finally drive someone who’s my age…
But Bradley, you scare me. Not only are you the most expensive thing I’ve ever bought (outside my education), but every time I look at you, I think one thing: I don’t deserve you.
I actually said this to the sales lady when I first laid eyes on you. She laughed, but I was serious. How does a person like me think I get to drive you in all of your awesomeness? You’re too good for me, Bradley.
I mentioned this feeling to a couple of people, and without pause they each said the exact opposite: I DO deserve you! Sure they were family and friends so they should say that, but the emphatic tones in their voices implied something more.
I also fear that you will let me down. I don’t have good luck with cars. Hopefully things will be different with you.
The other thing that scares me about you is that you give me a freedom I haven’t had in a long time. In the fall, I was confined to my bedroom; a prisoner of my own body. Now, you and I can go anywhere at anytime, and the thought of that is both exciting and frightening because I’m afraid of all of the ‘What ifs.’
You also mark the true beginning of my post-university life. If I am completely honest with myself, school has been somewhat of a means of avoiding moving forward. I’ve been loathe to start living in the real world for fear that I couldn’t handle it. Besides, I’m good at school. Really good. Why stop doing something you’re good at?
Bradley, the next month is probably going to be a bit rough. But hopefully in a few weeks things will settle down and we can start enjoying each other, ’cause right now, you seem much too good for me.